5 Things I’ve Learned About Community


The devastating pain didn’t come from a distant place. Someone made a decision that was out of your control and you suffered more than you ever thought possible. Maybe your husband had an affair and left your marriage. Maybe you lost a friendship over hurtful words and confused feelings.

It’s difficult, right? To face tragedy that you did not cause. It resonates deep within all of us and sometimes the pain comes back when we least expect it.

Everyone deals with these types of situations but some may be more severe than others. I watched my ex-husband suffer from a drug addiction and eventually leave our family. I suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and major depression as I tried to navigate my life as a single mother while my children had no father.

Those labels flow easily from my fingertips now but two years ago I was ashamed. I turned inwardly to deal with my mess instead of sharing with others. As God has changed my life I’ve learned some deep truths about his plan.

God did not create us to be alone. He wants our hearts and desires first but created community for us to have relationships with others so we can thrive. God himself is in community with the Son and Holy Spirit, He IS the community. And we are created in his image so community is natural for us. Below are a few things I’ve learned along the way.

5 Things I’ve Learned About Community

1. It will let you down. Now I know that’s not what you want to hear but it’s true. We are all sinful and sometimes our human desire is for others to serve us first instead of serving others. People will let us down but that is no reason to turn away from God. Allow Him to heal your heart and bring new friendships into your life.

2. You can connect with others through the unlikeliest of places. I never imagined the relationships I would form when I began blogging five months ago. God has gone above and beyond any of my expectations. I prayerfully went to Him and asked for friends. And He did not disappoint.

3. Most people just want to know they matter. So many of us are out in the world believing no one cares. Even as a Christian I was deceived sometimes by the thought that I was alone in my mess. But we are not alone. Just reach out and you will find someone who needs to hear your story.

4. Love others even when you don’t feel like it. This is hard for any of us to do. Nerves get frayed and feelings become on edge. Allow God’s Word to resonate in your heart before dealing with the conflict.

5. Be willing to listen with an open mind. We all live our lives differently and what works in your home may not work for someone else. Pray before you give advice and remember why your friend came to you…because she trusts you.


How has community helped you heal? Are you afraid to share your pain with others?

11 thoughts on “5 Things I’ve Learned About Community

  1. Oh my friend, this is hard stuff to wrangle with, but such life-changing truth. I’m blessed by your heart and so thankful for your friendship. And for your thoughts here. 🙂 xo

    • Thank you Dana! So glad you stopped by to read. I appreciate your friendship as well. Who knew we could connect when we are hundreds of miles apart. So thankful YOU are a part of my community!!

  2. Sarah, this post resonated with my heart I so many ways. I too, have learned the importance of community these past 2 years. My dad passed away at age 62 from early onset Alzheimer’s, and two months later my the 18y/o daughter unexpectedly walked out on our family, shaking us to the very core. That year was filled with one tragedy after another, due to my daughters choices, and our family was devastated and broken. My younger kids couldn’t fathom why their sister would leave them, and it wasn’t until months later that we discovered the emotional and mental abuse that my younger kids had been enduring from my oldest daughter. Thankfully, this year has been a year of healing; though the pain is still there, God has used community to help me heal. Thank you for sharing.

  3. Hi Sarah! I love your blog post! That is what is so difficult for me…forming friendships. I am just not good at girlfriend type of friendships and I have been hurt, even by my own Sisters in Christ. Please pray for me as I try to find safe friendships and community. It seems like friendships are so complicated and that I don’t have much of a clue on how to be a good friend.

    • I am praying that God will bring a true friend to you and that he will heal your hurts. I’ve learned that healthy friendships are ones where each lady gives and receives. They can be difficult and setting healthy boundaries is always a good thing. Thank you for opening up here!

  4. Wow – what a blessing this piece is. I’m sorry that you have had to struggle with some of the things you mention in the post – but I am struggling with those same things, and it’s good to hear from people who make it through. Thank you for sharing & encouraging me!

    • Rebekah, those places are hard to walk and i am so sorry you are there right now. But God is faithful and when we push through and lean into Him for direction he will never leave us. Praying for you and lifting you up in this season. It will get better, I promise!

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