My son broke a promise to me. He has no remorse for having done so and rubs it in my face every day. In fact, he’s doing so right now. It hurts my heart that he made the decision to go back on his word and just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes and builds a lump in my throat. As I type I want to throttle him for it, to force him to take it back and honor his solemn vow to me.
What did he do that’s so bad? I’ll tell you what the little snot pocket did. He promised me that he would never leave me. Ever.
His big greenish brown eyes stared into mine and he promised, with all his heart and in complete earnestness, that he would live with me for forever. And now he’s planning how he’s going to go to college and leave me. He’s trying to figure out how to get a job so that he can buy his own car, and leave me. He makes arrangements with his friends to pick him to go do stuff, and he leaves me. He’s making decisions for himself, and leaves me behind.
Do you see now how he broke his promise to me?
I know he’s supposed to do this. I know it’s part of the process of raising children. It wasn’t so hard when the oldest two left, and it doesn’t tear me up that the youngest two will leave also. But they didn’t promise me. They didn’t hold up the inside of their elbow for me to kiss to seal the promise.
As I watch him grow and become a young gentleman, pride swells in me. But so does a bit of hurt that he’s on the cusp of not being mine any more–at least not in the same capacity as before. I don’t want him to grow up; I want him to snuggle on my lap, run to me for owie kisses, and chase all manner of creepy-crawlies in little-boy delight.
Part of me screams it’s not fair that this sweet child will become a sweet man and no longer live under my roof. But I know it’s right.
So I’ll shed tears (a whole bunch in fact) for the broken promise. And then I’ll shed some more in pride for the man he’s becoming because he decided to take his promise back.
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P.S. We’d love to know your thoughts; be sure to share in the comments section below. This month we will draw TEN winners from our commenters and the winners will receive one of these two books, Hope for a Hurting Heart or To Let You Know I Care by our featured author this month, Cheryl Karpen.
Kelly Heuer resides in Idaho and asserts that she is foremost a wife to her best friend and hero. Five children (plus a few extras) call her Mami, and she considers being a wife and mother to be her most important job and ministry. She is her church’s Music/AV Coordinator and serves as a song leader among other roles as needed. A missionary kid, Kelly lived in the Dominican Republic for 14 years learning to read and translate legal documents in both Spanish and English. She says one of the most important revelations of her time there was learning the value of writing in alleviating the pain of both internal and external struggles. She says while others might describe her as a survivor, she calls herself a fighter, a thriver, a winner. Kelly’s heart is to help women worldwide to go beyond survival and be freed to never again fear enslavement.
Read more encouraging stories from brave-hearted women here. Be sure to grab your free copy of inspirational quotes and writing prompts while you’re there. (Look over on the right hand side!)
4 thoughts on “Broken Promise”
Kelly, this made me cry so much. My oldest son just turned 18 and when he was a little boy he said he would never leave me also, although it was a pinky swear not an elbow kiss. now he’s a man and making plans. I miss him already and he’s not even gone yet. My daughter is 17 and making plans of her own to go to college and leave me as well. I’m SO with you on this. let’s get together and have margaritas and a good cry over it. I love what you all are doing here BTW.
Margaritas and tears sounds like a good plan. Let’s do it! We should also tell the boys why we’re doing it and make them feel guilty. 😉
In all seriousness, I think this is the toughest thing I’ve had to face as a mom. That includes rushing my oldest to the ER resulting in brain surgery. I love that they are growing and becoming ladies and gentlemen in their own right, but I hate that they will eventually leave me.
I know that my son will do the same, and will move on in his life. That is what God has intended for him. It hurts to think about though. Thanks for your honesty and rawness in sharing.
My husband says watching our 12 year old daughter grow up is like setting a broken bone. Hurts like heck, but it’s gotta be done.