”Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
What fear is defeating you right now?
Word it.
{We always love when you share your words with us! Please use the comment section below so all of the Write Where It Hurts readers can benefit, too. Thank you for letting us all be a part of your writing journey.}
There is a lot of fear right now. I have a family exploration project that I will undertake this summer. I fear what I may learn about myself and my family. What does my mind already know that will be revealed as I research and write honestly. There is a fear of family repercussions if what I find is not what they want to hear. But I need to do this for my own healing. I feel this project is the most selfish thing I have ever done. But also risky and exciting.
What an enthralling (though frightening) spot to be in! I will be praying that your writing time is productive and helpful and that you emerge on the other side enlightened and inspired to further word your stories.
Fear has been a big thing in my life the past few years. I’m not sure when the seed was planted. But every few months or so I’m confronted with a rather unruly weed that has managed to start to choke me. I go through phases where I think I have the fear under control and then WHAM! I freak out over something completely minor and realize how much fear has influenced my way of thinking.
I use synonyms because it helps me think of the fear as less innocuous. I call myself neurotic or nervous. I make jokes about it in order to prove that I’m well-adjusted and not really afraid.
One of the most poignant moments in recent memory was when I had a conversation with one of my former bosses. This woman didn’t know me very well, but she called me in to discuss my job and why she hadn’t seen me around for a few weeks. I’d started working another job because my direct supervisor and I had some sort of falling out and life was miserable working under her. But the conversation turned to other things. And after just a few minutes talking to me this boss called me out on my fear.
I’m afraid of everything. That I’m a failure. That my friends will all leave me. Those are fears I have all the time. Afraid that I’ll never write anything good. That I’ll never live the life I dream of. Most recently it’s that someone will drown in my pool. And that I’ll never get promoted. Never get my finances straightened out. Never finish my degree that I’m only 9 credit hours away from. That my boss is secretly displeased with everything I’m doing and just not telling me. That I will get in trouble. I’m afraid my parents will die. That I will die. That God is dissapointed with me because I’m so weak.
I hate this fear. I don’t want to live with its constant presence in my life.
When I look back over this last week I can see so much about my behaviour that should have let me know I was letting the fear get the upper hand. I didn’t tell my closest friends how I was really feeling, I didn’t tell them about resubmitting my resume because I feared they’d judge me. I didn’t pray about anything. I just emitted cryptic statements to people who wouldn’t connect the dots. Or walked around angry. Or something else.
1 John 4:18
The Message (MSG)
To Love, to Be Loved
17-18God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.
This verse is often quoted as “perfect love drives out fear”. The New Living Translation ends the verse by saying that someone who fears hasn’t experienced this perfect love. I like the way The Message ends it… it seems more full of hope to me. “Not yet fully formed” gives me hope. Life is a process. I can trust that I do not have to be afraid.
A few of my friends are featured writers on writewhereithurts.org and today I came here just to look around. The writing prompts tab intrigued me. And the first one was about fear. I’ve put words to it now. I cried a little bit while writing this. And admitted to my boyfriend how silly I’ve been. Thanks for encouraging me to “word it”. Here’s to hope.
Fear of change is a constant in my life. Full of what-ifs, I can’t and I’m not good enough. I see change looming towards me but I am so full of fear that I become paralyzed. I crave this change at the same time but I still always feel stuck. I am afraid that this change may hurt others even though it may be needed. I just feel so lost in my own thoughts some days that it becomes hard to navigate. Just wish someone could magically give me the answer to all my questions.
Thanks for all the comments that I read hear, glad to see there are some real people willing to be real. I have fear most of my life also, but now I’m reconizing it when it happens, thanks to a support grroup that I attend once a week and some special people in my life that holds me accountable. Most of all I’m afraid of failing so I don’t even try, so I have to make myself go forward with new things to try.
Right now I have a few major fears. The top of the list is fear of giving into the temptation of relapse. I am a cutter and an alcoholic, two addictions I loved very much, cutting had become part of my identity for a while and it took God telling me that if I didn’t stop I would die and there was nothing He could do about it to make me stop. However, I’ve been trying to reach out to a relative with this same problem and foolishly I went into this effort without much prayer and God-guidance and nearly sacrificed myself to my addiction of the blade. Graciously God delivered me but the fear comes from the fact that I almost gave in. Also I still haven’t been able to nail down what inside of me brought me to the point of self-mutilation to begin with…. I fear that until I can rip out that one root I will forever be at the mercy of the compulsion. I work in drug treatment, so I know the argument of addiction being a disease that has no cure, but I also serve a God that has power over all things…… Just need to find the first problem/lie/defect….
My other main fear is that I won’t finish the bachelor’s program I’ve started because I didn’t fully finish my associates degree, I bailed with one quarter left.
Aja, one thing we know to be true is that God is there with you every moment. We also know nothing comes as a surprise to God, and that no addiction is beyond His grasp. I am so glad you recognize His hand in your deliverance and that you look to Him for protection and for the answers to your questions. He’s got your degree firmly in hand, too, and you can be sure He won’t leave you hanging as to what to do. I am praying for you, dear friend, and will be anxious to hear back from you on how you are doing. (((HUG)))
My fear is that my back pain will never go away. I fractured T12 in December. My fracture was fixed on January 22 but I still hurt. Trusting God as he is my only legitimate fear object.