Luck’s got nothing to do with it

Guest post by Kate Powers

Some people call it luck. Others say “You are blessed”. I used to believe I had bad luck–or at least I knew I didn’t have good luck. It seemed Murphy’s Law ruled my life and if something could go wrong, or even if it couldn’t, it did. I struggled through life waiting for the next disaster to strike.

Those disasters did strike, every time. I considered myself a pessimistic realist. I knew I had better prepare for the worst since based on experience it was sure to occur. I analyzed each situation to be prepared for any number of possible outcomes (and all of them bad). I was always at the ready. I felt it my duty to be prepared since everyone knew it was my fault the fiasco was occurring. Every family event or holiday I would assess the amount of damage control needed, then create my escape plan.

As a young child, escaping equated to hiding. “Out of sight, out of mind” became a survival tactic. Using food to stuff my emotions and stifle my voice, and trying with all my might to pray myself perfect—those were my other tactics. My heart would sink and my stomach would churn when I’d hear my name called from the other end of the house. I would immediately move as fast as I could to respond to the slurred bellow, knowing any delay would cause further irritation.

I thought once I escaped that chaotic environment I would be freed of the Murphy’s Law curse. What I quickly learned as a young adult was that although my day-to-day life was calmer I still lived in damage control mode. I analyzed and over analyzed every minute of every day. I had control over many areas of my life but I still felt over-obligated and trapped by the opportunities that had freed me from my childhood home.  

My poor self esteem and defensive thought patterns made me question every “Hi” or smile I received from college classmates and strangers on the street alike. I was waiting for those smiles to contort into grimaces and the torment of my grade school days to return. I may have grown into a young woman but the scared, shy, little girl lived inside me waiting for Murphy’s Law to strike again. I didn’t know who “Murphy” was, but I was certain he hated me—so wouldn’t everyone else?

Over the years I worked through these issues, or so it seemed at the time. During my marriage I quickly found myself back in the Landof Murphy, wondering how I found myself there yet again. I was constantly reminded “it’s all your fault” and I fluidly fell back into the default survival patterns of my childhood. This time there were no raised voices, just silence and abandonment.

When I found myself navigating divorce while pregnant, I made the decision to never live by Murphy’s Law again. Through my healing I came to fully understand there is no such thing as luck – good or bad. Sometimes our “bad luck” is simply our learning journey. Sometimes learning is painful and hard. Once the lesson is learned we are freed from the struggle forever. 

Each day I seek to learn those lessons more readily as I know each one brings another layer of release and healing. Of redemption.

And through redemption comes God’s blessings.

 

About Kate Powers: Published author, speaker and coach, Kate shares information, experience and useful tools to help women rethink their limiting beliefs, incorporate their values in all areas, reduce emotional baggage and move forward with confidence and knowing. Kate has been a passionate advocate for her clients for over 10 years and recently released her second book.

 

Read more encouraging stories from brave-hearted women here. Be sure to grab your free copy of inspirational quotes and writing prompts while you’re there. (Look over on the right hand side!)

6 thoughts on “Luck’s got nothing to do with it

  1. I’ve always wanted to write. I do have a couple of published poems. I loved this article. It sounds like me, at times. It seems the seasons of my life have been sort of up and down. I am an old woman now and am experiencing more seasons, more often. The times I’ve been happiest have been when I have a lot of supporting friends. So much so, that I think I’ve counted too much on friends to make me happy, When I would move away or something, and have to make new friends, the vicious cycle would begin again. I have now moved back to my home town. It seems even harder to get close to people, or perhaps for others to get close to me. I’m 81 yrs. of age and it seems like when I reached the age of 80, it got harder to cope with life as I see it. There are a lot of factors that contribute to that, of course, such as losing my husband and some of my siblings. My daughters & grandchildren do not live nearby. My only son was in a horrible auto accident at the age of 21, and has been disabled for 35 yrs. He does live nearby, and I find it harder, rather than easier, to accept his condition. I really love the Lord; he has been my strength, my everything. I just feel so badly that I haven’t been the perfect child that I want to be for Him. I’d better end this right here, before I have actually written a book. ;() Thank you for your article. This is the first one I’ve read. Now I know where to find you. God bless you! Ruth

    • God bless you, Ruth! I am so glad you found us. God is like that, isn’t he – the right thing at the right time. No luck needed 😉 I agree, we continually have seasons through out our lives and I am praying for your season to be filled with joy and friendship.

      Have you written your book yet? I am sure it would bless others!

      May peace and joy be in your heart,
      Kate

  2. I used to flinch when Matt would be upset with me. I’d visibly cringe. Not because I thought HE would hurt me, but it was a remnant subconscious response. I didn’t even realize I was doing it until he pointed it out to me. The things left behind even when we’ve physically broken away from badness are so hard to spot. Thank you for reminding us that we’re not alone in our struggles to break away from the awful and embrace the wonderful.

    • Yes, Kelly!

      You are not alone… every day I work on myself so I can embrace the wonderful, see God’s grace in my life and make choices that continue my journey away from the awful. I know it is my daily practice of self care and development that helps protect me from ever going back there again while healing me from the years spent in the chaos.

  3. Another layer of healing, release, redemption.

    Kate, I just love your authentic journey. Thank you for your willingness to learn from the work God is doing in your life, but also your love that allows you to take us on the journey with you so that we, too, may learn.

    • Thank you Jo Ann for encouraging the journey 🙂

      I spent so many years stuck in the “muck” . I knew there was a hole I kept falling into but it took a long time to be able to see it and walk around.

      I pray my sharing helps others for that is a beautiful gift…to turn a struggle into support for another’s journey.

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