When wounds cut deep, the opinion of others sometimes matters most.
How much that must hurt God’s heart.
Consider God’s first recorded reaction when dealing with our triggered-by-others insecurities. One evening when the breeze fell among the trees in the garden, Adam and Eve lay open their painful remorse (Gen 3:11 MSG).
“I was afraid…I was naked and I hid.”
“Who told you that?” God asked.
Don’t you just love the question? God wasn’t sidetracked with their shamefacedness. He well knew the source of their shackling guilt but I believe He wanted them to consider that someone else had influenced their beliefs. A shrewd and conniving someone else.
That running from grace thing we do–that began at the Fall, when we first believed that the opinion of others matter more than the opinion of God.
God is steadfast, though. Today, He poses that same question to us.
Who told you that you are worthless? Not good enough? Unlovable? That what you say doesn’t matter?
Unhealthy lies breed a culture of silence where a low self-worth often blocks God’s best for our lives.
But there’s hope. If we’re willing to confront these lies, we release the hold they have on us. Christian author and speaker Mary DeMuth, a veteran of childhood trauma, understands.
“Growing up, I had a monster-like fear of death,” Mary shares. “At night, I shivered as I prayed prayers to ward off ghosts.”
Mary masked a fear that consumed much of her life. Enveloped in cold darkness, most of her nights were spent imagining horrific, dreadful things happening to her. In spite of a brokenness that poisoned relationships, Mary remained afraid to unearth any childhood pain. Emotionally isolated, cynical, and relationally inept, she walked many painful years in repressive denial.
“I avoided intimacy as much as I could so I wouldn’t rip open a festering wound I couldn’t handle,” Mary said. “But you need to be willing to ‘go there’ with Jesus. So many people aren’t healed because they are afraid to open up the can of worms of their past. I’m here to say, yes it will hurt, but that kind of hurt is what heals.”
Who told you?
Who has attempted to diminish, ignore, or squelch your voice?
What life-messages are you responding to? Worthlessness and shame from an abusive father? Criticism from a cynical spouse? Abandonment from an absent mother? The child forced to cover up family secrets? Close relationships with narcissists, know-it-alls, controlling or belittling people? A toxic religious system, even?
Are you willing to go there with Jesus? Are you willing to trust His voice over these false voices?
Father, we pray your gentle hand guides us as we identify and confront any purpose-robbing lies that have penetrated our heart and mind. Teach us to hold any negative reflections under the magnifying light of your Word, your Truth. Empower us to overcome any unnatural fear of men, and to help stop making people bigger than You. Hold us close to your heart as we learn to need others less, and love you more.
As soon as I began reading Jo Ann’s post, it struck a chord deep within me. It’s crazy to think that we can be so easily deceived about who we are – children of God! I too grew up having night terrors about dying and it wasn’t until a few years ago that they disappeared as soon as I truly believed that when I die I will be with Jesus. Just the thought of it makes me giddy! We must remember who we are and listen to God’s opinion of us. The great thing about God is that He never changes. He doesn’t have good days and bad days. We don’t have to try and guess if He’s having a good or bad day so that we can gauge our behaviour. He is constant, never changing, always loving. What an amazing gift He offers us!! We just need to say ‘yes’ to it.
Kristina,
Oh how I am so thankful God doesn’t have good and bad days! So very thankful for his consistent love and never-ending grace.
Thank you for sharing.
I believe that we all need godly people in our lives who are willing when the need arises to speak God’s truth into ourl lives. For those of us who profess to be followers of Jesus, then our standard is His Word. What I am seeing in the lives of some younger women is that they have embraced this policy of: “listen to your own voice, don’t allow the negative opinions of others to nring you down, you are free to do anything you feel is right.” Are they using God’s word as their measuring stick, sadly, too often they are not they are following the standards set by friends, the world, etc.
My two cents…I am feeling pretty passionate about this right now as I am dealing with this in the life of someone very close to me. It is very difficult to watch.
Cindie,
Powerful reminder for us to use God’s Word as the plumb line for all that comes into our ears. Oh that we could learn to line up anything false with HIS truth. Thank you. Praying this moment for your situation/relationship.
This resonates deeply. Thanks Jo Ann for your honesty in speaking truth to my heart! ~Heidi
Thank you Heidi for your encouragement, and for joining with us in community. You are a precious soul indeed.
“So many people aren’t healed because they are afraid to open up the can of worms of their past. I’m here to say, yes it will hurt, but that kind of hurt is what heals.”
Gonna quote your quote of Mary Demuth on FB my friend as this is just too good to not spread it around. As a Life Coach I find this true in just about every new client, but they soon find such liberty and freedom when they find what they feared the most didn’t kill them but actually did set them free…..
You are so right, Dixie. Liberty, freedom, and a joy-filled life of abundance is what God intends for us!
Oh my. Thank you. The life messages I am responding to are definitely the abandonment of a mother and the heavy heart that covering family secrets brings.. I have been healing from this stuff for a while and one thing that comforts me is that God is a father to the fatherless (or in my case, a mother to the motherless!) 🙂
Ashley,
Thank you for sharing — for allowing us to be a part of your healing journey. What an honor. I pray God permeates any falsehoods and tears down any beliefs that are not centered on His truth. When we’re hurt, isn’t it crazy-making the lies we fall prey too? May you lean in on His chest as He walks you the rest of the way, all the way to truth and freedom.
Love to you!
Boy, could I write an article on this topic. It speaks to a really deep wound that I have dealt with with my Lord but that the people who hurt me have no interest in restoration. They acted on a lie from one person who was jealous of me and made a decision that profoundly impacted my life and ministry and a lot of hurting women. I still have trouble going there in my head. Only God gets me through the pain of that wound. Love the article, sweet friend!