Guest Post by Elizabeth Buhrke
I’m trying to assimilate back into my life but I’m having a hard time. I’ve always had a heart for the poor, but God is stirring me in a way I could never have imagined.
I never dreamed of being a mom, but when Isaiah came into my life God changed me. Then I never imagined loving as deeply as I’d fallen in love with my son, but this week God brought a little girl named Wynona into my life.
I walked with our youth on this trip all week–listened to their struggles, encouraged their work, worked alongside them, and gave direction when needed. I held it all together as much as I could, but yesterday in worship I fell apart. We sang the chorus of a song that says “So remember Your people, remember Your children, remember Your promise, O God” and I lost it.
There is absolutely no excuse for poverty similar to that of any third world country to exist right here on American soil only a 14 hour drive from us. God forgive us! Forgive us Christians for not being aware! Forgive the Church for turning their backs! Forgive my own ignorance!
When we ended the service with song about letting God’s love flow from us, I lost it again. I look back at last week and know that I poured out all the love I had in me and then some. And I’m having a really hard time knowing I have to wait another 51 weeks before I can wrap my arms around this little one out in South Dakota on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation.
I will have to become ingenious as to how I can love on her from this distance. I didn’t think anyone could steal my heart the way my son did, and my heart is breaking knowing of the life this little six-year-old has already endured and imagining what may be yet to come for this little girl.
She has already experienced more than most of our own youth. I thought I had experienced a lot of life. This little one, who knows it is God who makes her whole, has far too much to deal with. I’m praying she can just be a little girl while she is a little girl. She has had to grow up much too quickly already. I pray she is protected from further harm. I seriously feel like I left half of my heart in SD. I know God will mend me, but I’m a bit of a mess right now.
And you, friend? Are you wrecked by the suffering of someone you love? How do you remain hopeful while you wait for God’s plan to unfold?
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P.S. We’d love to know your thoughts, so please be sure to comment below. Each of our commenters will be entered in a drawing for this month’s FREE book giveaway, Mothers & Daughters: Mending a Strained Relationship by author Teena Stewart.
Elizabeth Buhrke is a single mother of a deaf/blind/autistic 12-year-old son. A worship leader at heart, she has just recently returned to speaking and sharing what God has done in her life after a 10-year hiatus. Elizabeth’s passion for the Lord compels her to share the dark places from which Christ has drawn her through word and song. Her foundational joy is rooted in Christ and reflected brightly in the life of her son. She counts them both as integral reasons she is alive and empowered to share the gospel with others today.
Yes Elizabeth I am wrecked by the suffering of a loved one. My son is 16 and even though he is musically talented and very intelligent he is suffering from an anxiety disorder that is causing him much pain. It isheartbreaking to feel so impotent, because I just want him to be happy and well. I cry out to the Lord and I praise Him for He gives me a peace and a wisdom that is divine. Do I lose it at times? Oh yeah! but my Lord picks me up and has mercy on me. Thank you for sharing your story, it has encouraged me.
I’m sorry your son is suffering. As mothers we do not like to watch our children hurt. I hold onto scripture that reminds me that everything works out for the good of the Lord. My son just came home from being away for a week at camp where he reminded me of the story of Joseph and how his brothers were mean and put him in a well and he spent time in prison and yet God used Joseph in mighty ways to take care of the entire nation of Israel including his brothers that had got him to where he was that day through their own actions years earlier. God works His good for those who love Him. I pray your son will get used in mighty ways and that God continue to holds you up and make you strong in order to support him through this. I praise God you were encouraged! Thank you.
Heartbreaking to know so many children must suffer so badly in this land of plenty. I believe that to much of our “plenty” is going elsewhere…tho it may be dire there, too, why can’t America see that no child here goes to bed hungry or suffers from an illness without a doctor and medicine? I, too, sometimes ‘lose it’,
I also need to read this book…my daughter and I have lost our way to each other. My heart hurts, but the only medicine that will heal the pain is to know we are okay again. Prayers for everyone…Nettie
Nettie, God knows your hurt and hears your pain! I pray your relationship with your daughter would be reconciled IN JESUS NAME! God’s Word tells us He works His good for those who love Him. While I don’t know the plans He has in store for you or your daughter, I do know that He will work them out for His good and He will do it in a way that you will give Him all the glory! Praising God for all of the possibilities!