When Your Friendship is Tested



She chose him over me. And we didn’t speak for two years because of it. The hole in my life screamed for the presence of my former- best-friend, but she simply wasn’t there.

From the time I was young, God gifted me with friends.  That’s His design, for us to have relationships with other women. It’s these relationships that often help us grow spiritually. I’ve had several true friendships that meant the world to me. These women came when I needed community and acceptance.

My twenty-year best friend has been there for me through more things than I can explain but there was that time when she left our friendship.

Have you ever had a friend choose someone else over you? Has a difference of opinion ever destroyed a friendship?

When we become involved in another woman’s life we attach not just to her, but we become involved with her family,invested in her career and personal choices as well as her struggles and victories. But if a friendship is not based on mutual trust,  and a desire to authentic understanding, and grace there is potential for Satan to come in and wreak havoc on all those levels of attachment.

During my years of single parenting, I longed to have the lives like those around me. It hurt when my girlfriends had family plans and their husbands took care of them. I was living with my mom, attending graduate school. and just trying to hold my little family together. I dated a man for a while but his life was not where it needed to be—yet, in fear, I hung on for I didn’t want to be alone again.

My friends, they loved me, supported me, in spite of me. And I’m so very grateful for their commitment to me and my children. The enemy doesn’t want us to have these sort of friendships. He exposes our weaknesses, whispering thoughts about our weaknesses, causing us to question our friend’s motives.

How can she ever understand what I’m going through? She’s never had anything bad happen to her.

Her children are perfect and she seems to have it all together. I am a mess and can never catch up. Why are we even friends?

I work so hard just to feed my family and keep us afloat while she lives in luxury. Her husband has such a great job. Why can’t I have her life?

Oh how Satan loves to deceive. To isolate. But it’s time we took Satan’s whispers and threw scripture at him. Stand guard over those relationships. Do not allow those thoughts to overtake you or your friendship. If ever there is a conflict, go to your friend in love and gentle truth. Pray together if at all possible. If not, set time to pray for her. Pray that God would resolve and restore, as only He can. It’s time we protect and nurture these gifts God has given us.

“Whoever loves a pure heart and gracious speech will have the king as a friend.”
Proverbs 22:11


Deeper Still: Have you ever had a conflict with a friend? How did you resolve it? Please leave us a comment below so that we can learn and grow together.

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