Most of my life I struggled with self-confidence issues. I grew up believing our family troubles were my fault, that I was too fat to be loved, and that I was a terrible writer.
These false beliefs were stirred by the opinions of others that I took on as truth. When I was 5 years old, someone told me it was all my fault my dad was a drunk. At 12, someone told me I was too fat to be loved. And at 16, someone told me I was a terrible writer.
It wasn’t until my mid-30’s that I realized I had based my self-worth in other people’s opinions, not in the truth. These opinions, however well-meaning (or not) were not the truth but I did not know that. I thought those older were always wiser, that with authority came knowledge.
Then my world turned upside down. I discovered my husband was cheating, lying, and gambling while I was home with our 4-year-old daughter and pregnant with our second child.
Sometimes, when everything turns upside down, you can see things in new way, from a fresh perspective. I was at a personal crossroads in my life. I could continue down the self-loathing, never good enough, letting-life-happen-to-me path, or I could do something different.
As a result of my husband’s betrayal I needed the security that only the truth brings. No matter how unpleasant, difficult or harsh the truth is solid – you can stand on it! The truth will not crumble like sand beneath your feet.
Did I deserve what happened? Was it my fault? Was I too fat to be loved? Should I accept the shame of my husband’s unfaithfulness and keep quiet? All the voices in my head said, “Yes”. But one quiet voice insisted, “No!”
I sought out that quiet voice and found it in my heart. My heart revealed a different answer. My heart told me the truth. I believe God speaks to us through our hearts so I knew I had better listen!
Over the weeks and months that followed, I listened to my heart more and my head less. I allowed that little voice to grow; now it is stronger than the voice in my head. My heart challenged me to re-evaluate all the things I thought about myself – to see myself from God’s perspective.
When I look at myself as God sees me I see a woman I love, respect, and appreciate. God created each of us a miracle, a gift to the world in our own special way. While I am still a work in progress, I am a God creation! Each day I remind myself of God’s love and His truth – this gives me confidence, strength and peace to move forward.
Kate Powers is a Certified Personal Coach and the owner of Ask Coach Kate. She offers life balance and business coaching services for people who have recognized that the key to success and happiness is within their grasp.