Guest Post by Jack Watts
The wounds from my abuse run deep,
Creating shame, anger, and an
Overwhelming sense of worthlessness
That enervates every area of my life.
With my mouth, I refuse to admit
That this is how I see myself,
But in the recesses of my soul,
I wonder if my abusers are correct about me.
Maybe my life has little value, after all,
Precisely like I have been told.
When it happened, I was angrier with You
Than I was with my those who abused me.
Because my abuser was in a position of authority,
I believed he spoke for You,
Which was certainly his clear indication.
In my woundedness, it never occurred to me
That Your Son was also abused—just like me—
By hateful, self-righteous religious leaders.
You permitted His abuse—just like you permitted mine.
What Christ’s abusers meant for evil, however,
You meant for good, redeeming Mankind through it.
Without Your Son’s abuse, all would be lost.
Thank You for allowing such a tragedy
On my behalf, as well as that of all of Mankind.
Can You redeem what is left of my life as well?
Can You use my abuse for something
That has value for others as well as for me?
Can You turn my weakness into strength,
And my broken life into one
That is joyful, substantive, and purposeful?
Be gracious to me and raise me up, that I may repay them. By this I know that Thou art pleased with me, because my enemy does not shout in triumph over me. As for me, Thou dost uphold me in my integrity, and Thou dost set me in Thy presence forever. (Psalm 41:10-12)
Jack Watts has recently released his memoir (himynameisjack.net), an authentic story of one man’s life, lived with increasing triumph through incredible adversity. Jack’s life is not ordinary or predictable—not even close. Reality never is.
One thought on “God Understands Your Abuse”
This brought me new comfort & made me mad all wrapped up in one.