Once when I moved from one state to another it was required by the new state that I take a written exam for my license. Only it wasn’t written. It was one of those simulated driving conditions where you suddenly had to make a decision about what to do. I was mortified—I received my drivers at fifteen and hadn’t been retested in years but there I stood, actually retaking the test.
One of the “tests” involved this unexpected person who stepped off the curb right in front of you; you have to hit the brakes, veer left or right, or simply hit the person.
Sometimes I feel like that is what God does to me when He is ready for me to move into a new thing. A sign pops up, leads me to veer left, and there I am, on a “Do Over.” It has happened so many times in my life that it is routine for me now. It is completely normal for me to be in a situation where I feel comfortable and had a plan when suddenly a life change occurred. I don’t even question God anymore. I just gather my things and get on with it. That is how I am built.
As I matured I started seeing a pattern that sooner or later the reason would appear. When someone (a.k.a. the reason) says, “I met Gail in the strangest way,” I get it.
My recent “left” turn hurt differently. It has taken nearly six months to comprehend this “do over.” This one holds deeper, more meaningful purpose than any other do over God has set before me. I lost the one I considered my life love through a sudden, “surprise” divorce; a hard financial hit—my business couldn’t sustain itself and I had to sell out; to rebuild my life I had to leave my home in Alabama and live with my younger sister in Mississippi; even my dear beloved cat of ten years had to be relocated.
I have never had to leave so much behind when God called me out. Yet lately, I have been blessed with signs that “the reason” will arrive soon; the pain is more behind me than in front of me now. It has taken me a while, but I am finally able to ask God about my next assignment. Each time I pray for my assignment. my own personal pain dims a little and I know that something wonderful is about to happen.
Why is this do-over so different?
God delivered me from a life with an alcoholic (I would have stayed). God took away the stress of running a business with overhead (I wouldn’t have quit). God gave me place to live where I felt safe, and my sweet kitty ended up with a family that can afford his new health problems.
I am in a better place mentally, physically and spiritually than I have ever been. God knew I needed this much time to get where he could bring me to my blessings and my assignment. On December 15th I moved into my new house. I have a full time job learning a new side of my business. I have a new car and I have peace like I have never had before. I know my assignment will be here soon. It could a new ministry or maybe he will push my new little company into mainstream. I don’t know but I do know, “here I am God, send me!”
I am at peace with being a gypsy. I am at peace with being a wanderer, a hippie for God. Are you at peace with what God asks of you yet? Are you at peace with changes and sudden left turns? I am in the best years of my life. Thank You God for my “Do Over.”