Confessions of a control freak

Jesus take the wheelColumn post by Aj Luck

 

I am a control freak—I may as well admit it.

For the past six weeks, hubby and I have been working out with a personal trainer and nutritionist, attempting to get healthy. Earlier in the week, all of us were having dinner together and we were celebrating how well we were doing with our training and how much better I was feeling.

But then this morning I woke up to a 101 fever, no voice and feeling like a Mack truck hit me sometime during the night.

I lay there in bed, my mind racing with all the things that I needed to get done, all the things I couldn’t do.

Guilt consumed me.

The only thing my body was going to do was sleep. I gave up the fight, sleeping the entire day away.

When I woke, I reached for my phone to read my Sarah Young, Jesus Calling devotional for the day (I love this book!)

I just shook my head.

Thank Me for the conditions that are requiring you to be still. Do not spoil these quiet hours by wishing them away, waiting impatiently to be active again. Some of the greatest works in my Kingdom have been done from sick beds and prison cells. Instead of resenting the limitations of a weakened body, search for My way in the midst of these very circumstances. Limitations can be liberating when your strongest desire is living close to me.

Quietness and Trust enhance your awareness of My Presence with you. Do not despise these simple ways of serving Me. Although you feel cut off from the activity of the world, your quiet trust makes a powerful statement in the spiritual realms. My strength and Power show themselves most effective in weakness.

Kind of freaked me out, how much God spoke right into my situation through these words, but maybe me falling sick allowed me the stillness to hear God. Maybe my losing my own voice allowed me to hear His more clearly than I have in a long time.

At times, I tend to treat my relationship with my Creator more like a road trip. I am behind the wheel trying to drive my agenda into play—all the while keeping Jesus buckled in beside me as my passenger, my GPS (Godly passenger servant).

This ought not be. For I have no clue where I’m really going, much less how to get there.

My need to control is a mere illusion. We have no control of any part of our lives, if we have in fact surrendered them to our Creator. We’re simply on a journey, passengers on a ride with God. Our job is to enjoy the scenery, and sometimes that takes God adjusting our volume of noise so that we can hear more clearly.

Yes, Carrie Underwood said it best, “Jesus, take the wheel.” 

 

Father God, May we learn to trust you in every moment of each day. Settle us in heart, mind and body so that we will rely less on us, and more on you. Teach us the way we should go, and please, guide us how to get there!

 

We would love to know your thoughts. Leave a comment below and be entered to win an awesome Pink Jesus Calling Devotional by Sarah Young!

AjBioPic9.12Aj is a blogger, bookworm, wife and mommy, and an author of children’s books, spiritual thrillers, and inspirational works. Aj’s blog, Shattered Perspectives, is dedicated to encouraging and helping women who have suffered and/or are struggling with abuse. In her spare time Aj can be found nursing cold Diet Cokes and searching for awesome bargains in nearby thrift stores. She resides in Florida with her husband, son, two dogs and the biggest diva of a Siamese cat ever, and can be reached by email at aj@shatteredperspectives.com

 

9 thoughts on “Confessions of a control freak

    • Kristen,
      I too am so amazed at how timely God sends exactly what we need. It’s sad how often I forget, yet how faithful He is.
      Sending ((((hugs))))
      Thanks for your comment!!
      <3
      Aj

  1. Thank you for your words. I think my greatest frustrations come when I feel out of control…health of my daughter being one example. His comfort is only a page away if I would only use it as my FIRST resource.

    • Becky,
      Thank you so much for your comment.
      It sounds like you and I think alike.
      I often wonder why WORRY tends to be my first reaction verses TRUST.
      May God continue to remind us He truly is only a whisper away. 🙂
      Sending you a big ole bear ((((hug))))
      and will be praying with you for your daughter and her health!
      God bless!!
      <3
      Aj

  2. A.J., this column speaks volumes to me! I love the devotional you speak of and find the same surprise at its targeted message to me! It is amazing how we can hear from God at all times, if we listen.

    Thank you for the column!

    Kayla

    • Kayla,
      Thank you so much for your comment. 🙂
      I am so glad the column spoke to you. <3
      The Jesus Calling devotional amazes and inspires me every day.
      (and yes, freaks me out- in a good way, how often God speaks directly to me and my current situations.)

      Love, hugs and many prayers!!
      (((((bear hug)))))
      Aj <3

  3. Thank you for sharing! I’ve been following your story for awhile now. Jesus speaks to me most through my tears, many times while I cry them in my bathroom. God is our GPS. We need Him.

  4. Joelle,
    Thank you so much reading my column. I am so honored that it has been able to speak to you.
    I completely understand about speaking through tears. I call it my “liquid prayers.”
    I fully agree that Jesus IS our GPS when we need Him. 🙂
    Remember, no matter what- you are loved, valued and YOU DO have purpose in this world!!
    Sending you a giant (((((BEAR HUG!!)))))
    Love, hugs and prayers!!
    Aj <3

  5. Perfect timing to read this article. I have been sick for a while and I do not have a job. I am a single mother living with my sister. I feel sad, worried and out of control. These last three days, I have been receiving the same message: be still and trust God. It is hard for me not to have a job, waiting to get one and not knowing what is coming next. But deep down in my heart, I know that i have to be patient.

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