Writing My Singleness
By: Mandy Hale, “The Single Woman”
“A woman without a man is still of infinite worth.” ~Kristen McMain Oaks
Almost two months ago, my first published book, The Single Woman: Life, Love, & a Dash of Sass hit bookstores across the country. It was a proud moment, for sure. It’s been my dream to write a book since I was old enough to read, and probably even before, when my first grade teacher would read to us fanciful tales of faraway places every day in school. I lived for those 20-30 minutes she read aloud to us each day, when I could close my eyes and escape to somewhere only the written words can transport you to.
Yes, releasing my first book was a proud moment for me. The culmination of every dream I’ve ever had. A gigantic leap of faith. And a process that’s nearly four years in the making. But none of these reasons is why I wrote the book. Not for pride, not for money, not even to make The New York Times Bestseller List (even though I’d be lying if I didn’t say that would be pretty ridiculously awesome.)
I wrote this book for you. Not because I am “The Single Woman” . . . but because we ALL are “The Single Woman.”
We’ve all been stood up. We’ve all had disastrous first dates and blind dates and “Houdinis” who disappeared from our lives without so much as a text (let alone an explanation). We’ve all scrolled through our Facebook timelines and wanted to either scream or cry at the unfairness of a world that allowed every friend we had in high school (even the one with the really questionable reputation) to get married before us. We’ve all wondered silently to ourselves if we are meant to wonder the earth alone.
We’ve all been forced to sit at the kids table at family reunions because there’s no room for the “single folks” at the grown-up table. We’ve all been patted on the head patronizingly by someone who we ran into at Wal-Mart when they asked us “So are you dating anyone?” and we said “No.” We’ve all lost contact with friends, even best friends, when they fell into the Bermuda Triangle of marriage and kids and don’t have time for us anymore. We’ve come home to empty houses, gazed into empty refrigerators, and gone to sleep in empty beds. And no one noticed the tears that fell on our pillows.
But you know what else we’ve done?
We’ve learned to use a power saw and navigate Home Depot on our own. We’ve moved across the country for a dream job without a second thought. We’ve walked into dozens of parties minus a plus one with our heads held high. We’ve hung curtains, carried the groceries up three flights of stairs, changed our own oil and parallel parked like a boss all in the same day without anyone’s assistance. We’ve thrown away the map of “Love & Marriage” and charted our own paths of “Single & Fabulous.” We’ve put together our own desks from Target, even with 72 pieces and four pages of indiscernible instructions. Written in Italian.
We’ve gotten our Master’s Degree. We’ve lost 45 pounds. We’ve found a way to turn our dream into our job. We’ve adopted as single moms. We’ve raised kids on our own. We’ve traveled to Paris by ourselves on a whim. We’ve danced joyfully in the rain.
We’ve let go, moved on, risen above, overcame, persevered, loved and lost, felt the fear and did it anyway, forgiven & forgotten, gotten back up, tried again, traveled, laughed, loved, cried, felt, hoped, wished, dreamed, celebrated, and learned to stand on our own two feet.
The world, the news, pop culture, magazines, books, dating shows, sometimes even our well-meaning friends and family members are so caught up in everything that we’re NOT (married) . . . that they’ve forgotten everything that we ARE.
Fierce. Fabulous. Brave. Strong. Kind. Unique. Colorful. Bold. Independent. Completely capable. Lovable. Passionate. Driven.
This book, my friends . . . is our chance to remind them.
And THAT’S why I wrote it.
Hold your heads high, single ladies. This is your moment to shine.
Grab your copy of The Single Woman: Life, Love, & a Dash of Sass at all major bookstores or order it here.
We’re giving away TWO free copies of Mandy’s book! Share with us in the comments section below a time when you have “felt the fear and done it anyway.”
3 thoughts on “The Single Woman”
Thank you for sharing the words I so often wanted to say when I was a single mom. Those tough places where we hold our breath and jump are the ones we will always remember. I began and completed grad school during my single mom years and it is one of my biggest accomplishments EVER. We are so much more with our without a man. We are ourselves.
Cheering over here. Love this picture of single women: brave, strong, independent, bold. Single mom checking in over here, and I am feeling every bit of what you wrote. Thanks for sharing!
Has God forgotten me?…. Are my sins so numerous? I begin to ask myself as I watch time fly by like a misile launched for a mission. I fall into my thoughts…. Deep deep into my thoughts as Pictures begin to flash in my head and I begin to remember times… Times when your parents nearly get on your nerves by asking funny questions, not wanting to hold that conversation. Times when I wonder to yourself ” am I just not that beautiful or undeserving”. Sometimes, the dreadful fear of being forever alone grips my heart but like a beam of light shining on me. God suddenly reminds me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and He has a definite purpose for my life. He tells me despite all you have been through there is great love just waiting outside the door. At the specific time, strength gathers in me and momentum is risend in me to fight and push on as a SINGLE WOMAN