Sometimes thoughts get jumbled in my mind and I say things that mean just the opposite of what I’m thinking.
Does this ever happen to you?
I’ll be doing a normal task and out of nowhere a thought or word spoken triggers a memory from long ago and all I can focus on is the negative. I look back at how things were instead of seeing what my situation is now.
The negative talk in our minds can be so powerful we forget the promises right in front of us.
When I share those raw feelings they tend to come out the wrong way. The person I’m sharing with may become hurt because I seem to be stuck back in a time when nothing made sense.
Just a year ago my life was so different, and these triggers are easily used by the enemy to arouse my suspicion and anxiety. And then I react to the feelings instead of stepping back and evaluating the situation so that I make the right call about what really needs to be shared.
Places in my heart are still healing and the slow process involves a soft salve and tender care, but often times it’s easier to put my mind right back where it was during the really hard stuff.
A few weeks ago I traveled with my children alone and really missed my husband. I hate being away from him, and caring for three kids on the road is no small task. Being the only parent present brought back memories of my life as a single mom and I didn’t like that one bit.
Flashbacks of sleepless nights, crying babies, seemingly endless feedings and lots of pit stops brought up fear, doubt, anxiety and most of all, anger.
I reacted to these memories with sadness and pity instead of confronting the issue and giving it to God. I shared my frustration with my husband and he in turn showed me I was leaning too far back into a life that no longer existed.
Those feelings I was experiencing, were just feelings. They didn’t have the power to control me, until I gave them the key to my mind.
As we leave our past and begin to reach out for God’s promises, we must choose to stand in the truth, to speak against the lies we believed before.
It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to learn a different way of living. If you’ve conditioned your mind to work through problems with a fearful and angry heart, that is how you will continue to move through life.
Like fresh buds swelling at the base of a wintered branch, a season of hope beckons us. The times is now. Let go. Only when you release yesterday can tomorrow come. ~Jo Ann Fore
It’s when you make the intentional decision to stand up for yourself and believe you are worth more than just feelings that you begin to live a life deserved.
DEEPER STILL: Where are you in your walk with your feelings? Do they control you or are you working toward a life of freedom and deliberate living?