When You Step Away From Your Feelings


Sometimes thoughts get jumbled in my mind and I say things that mean just the opposite of what I’m thinking.

Does this ever happen to you?

I’ll be doing a normal task and out of nowhere a thought or word spoken triggers a memory from long ago and all I can focus on is the negative. I look back at how things were instead of seeing what my situation is now.

The negative talk in our minds can be so powerful we forget the promises right in front of us.

When I share those raw feelings they tend to come out the wrong way. The person I’m sharing with may become hurt because I seem to be stuck back in a time when nothing made sense.

Just a year ago my life was so different, and these triggers are easily used by the enemy to arouse my suspicion and anxiety. And then I react to the feelings instead of stepping back and evaluating the situation so that I make the right call about what really needs to be shared.

Places in my heart are still healing and the slow process involves a soft salve and tender care, but often times it’s easier to put my mind right back where it was during the really hard stuff.

A few weeks ago I traveled with my children alone and really missed my husband. I hate being away from him, and caring for three kids on the road is no small task. Being the only parent present brought back memories of my life as a single mom and I didn’t like that one bit.

Flashbacks of sleepless nights, crying babies, seemingly endless feedings and lots of pit stops brought up fear, doubt, anxiety and most of all, anger.

I reacted to these memories with sadness and pity instead of confronting the issue and giving it to God. I shared my frustration with my husband and he in turn showed me I was leaning too far back into a life that no longer existed.

Those feelings I was experiencing, were just feelingsThey didn’t have the power to control me, until I gave them the key to my mind.

As we leave our past and begin to reach out for God’s promises, we must choose to stand in the truth, to speak against the lies we believed before.

It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to learn a different way of living. If you’ve conditioned your mind to work through problems with a fearful and angry heart, that is how you will continue to move through life.

Like fresh buds swelling at the base of a wintered branch, a season of hope beckons us. The times is now. Let go. Only when you release yesterday can tomorrow come. ~Jo Ann Fore

It’s when you make the intentional decision to stand up for yourself and believe you are worth more than just feelings that you begin to live a life deserved. 

DEEPER STILL: Where are you in your walk with your feelings? Do they control you or are you working toward a life of freedom and deliberate living?












8 thoughts on “When You Step Away From Your Feelings

  1. I’m working on silencing the negative chatter. It’s hard! Of course, I’m still in the middle of the mess. I’m hoping it gets easier after the mess is over (or at least the worst of it).

    • Bethany,

      The walk to light is a hard one when we are in the thick of the mess. Take each moment as it comes and every time you hear those negative words give them to God. When you hear them again, give them over again. The continual process will help tremendously. Blessings to you!

  2. Such a gift to read this today. Your words match a painful place in my life of which I am now free, free to the extent that I allow myself freedom. I bet you understand that as well. I was reading some of my writings from those days just this morning. It is healing to share and healing to read that I have not been alone. I am sorry we both have had to go through the tough times but I bet neither of us would change the growth. Thank you for sharing these precious words of grace and healing.

    • I do understand Anne and sometimes I still struggle with the freedom part. You are certainly not alone and in this space you will find support and kinship. As we walk together our words can give life to others as they travel the journey too. Thank you for reading and being brave to share.

      And you are right, I would never change the growth I have experienced, it has helped me mature and understand things I never did before.
      Blessings to you!

  3. I really needed to hear this. This is so me: “And then I react to the feelings instead of stepping back and evaluating the situation so that I make the right call about what really needs to be shared.” I am working on it though. And this really helped me: “As we leave our past and begin to reach out for God’s promises, we must choose to stand in the truth, to speak against the lies we believed before.” To answer the question, I think I am starting to work toward freedom. I am learning what that freedom actually means and leaning on God for strength. I still tend to let my feelings control me, especially about my past.

    • Amanda,

      I am right there with you my friend. It’s a gradual process to train our minds to new thinking. God is so patient with us and as long as we are trying and making a conscious effort to walk with Him he will honor that.
      Thank you for reading!

  4. This really strikes a chord with me. I feel as though there is a little abused girl still inside me and she comes out when I don’t want her to. Christians in my church want to silence her and tell me to stop talking about the abuse but I’m finding it hard

    • God does not want you silenced, my friend. Have you thought about journaling? It’s a great way to get your feelings out without having to share with others in the beginning. Maybe a trusted friend or counselor will listen? I am praying for that little girl’s heart to be healed.

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