Life is hard sometimes, not always made up of storybook tales—the kind we held to as we grew up. I blame Disney. Find the right man and that fixes everything, right?
Eventually, I did find the right man—Jesus—but even then I met him under the umbrella of belief that all is well once you “cross-over” and become a Christian. I’ve since learned all is indeed well, but not necessarily in the way “well” was represented to me.
While silence can be serene and comforting when we need a break from daily living, silencing who we are, our “internal” voice, darkens our spirit and weakens our ability to connect heart-to-heart with others. Our voice fades to insignificant, the nothingness permeating our lives with low self-esteem and threatening to steal our very identity. Christian or not, suppressed emotional pain stains one’s soul.
Your voice matters. In fact, it’s a divine gift from the One who made you.
Pull that truth in tight—to the very core of your being. Relish the freedom.
You aren’t alone. Unworthy. Powerless. You are important in God’s eyes. You aren’t defined by what has happened to you, or even your own wrong choices; these things will not destroy you. You are loved. Needed. And what you have to say is valuable.
Intoxicating, isn’t it?
Those thin places where truth seeps through, those are the places where Jesus walks—the places we find healing.
Dare you believe it? The Pollyanna euphemisms can fade quickly as you default to what you know best. After a brief interlude of hope your mind pulls back, pulverized by self-doubt. Is what I have to say really meaningful or valued—does anyone even care?
It’s hard to forget those times you were forced to keep secrets or someone made you feel worthless and inferior, or angry and resentful. Or worse, those times when someone hurt you verbally (or physically)—pumping up their ego at the price of your self-worth.
I well know the roar of silence, the taste of fear. I’ve lived the numbing quiet of suppressed emotional pain caused by unfathomable trials. But I’ve also reached out and grasped the hand of freedom extended by a personal and loving God. I’ve come to savor the liberty to speak—to participate in my own life, and the lives of those around me. No longer does life pass me by.
In the healing shadow of Jesus, I’m learning to confront the toxic beliefs that threaten to soil my life and twist my thinking. Today, when something tries to silence me, I quickly apply the truth of scripture. I’m learning now to think differently, retraining my brain. It is here, in this journey, that I have found permission to speak, found my voice.
I know it sounds too simplistic, but God’s really not complicated. {That would be me.}
The Bible holds all we need to walk in freedom. But the first step towards freedom is to choose this Truth. {I found this awesome resource from June Hunt on her Hope for the Heart site to remind us of these life-changing truths.}
This part unraveled me…
“You aren’t alone. Unworthy. Powerless. You are important in God’s eyes. You aren’t defined by what has happened to you, or even your own wrong choices; these things will not destroy you. You are loved. Needed. And what you have to say is valuable.”
And just when I was regaining my composure I got to “A Vision of God-given Worth” and was messed up again.
I thank God for an unconditional love that sometimes unravels us in order to carry us to where we need to be. I pray your heart is stirred to begin to accept how valuable you truly are, my friend. <3
How do You happen to be inside my head and heart tonight?… This sounds so easy to read it, but having been a Christian since I was 9 – (Centuries ago!) – and having almost Every day of my long life be full of pain brought on by those in my life (Mostly Christians…), it is hard to know what to do with all of this… I am in Such a Hard place of Aloneness, Emptiness, Rejection, Frustration, and more… It’s hard to hang on to the Truths I really want to hold onto when I do NOT see His working in my life – what little left of it… I cannot feel Him – cannot see Him – I can only cry – as I try to figure out how to support myself when even THAT is a Failure of my life… I know that this, as well as my ‘fervent prayers,’ just goes out into ‘space’…but I am moved to put it out there tonight after reading this… Whatever. Thank You for Your Thoughts. Blessings to You –
Lynden
Sweet and beautiful Lynden,
Thank you for granting freedom to a voice that seeks truth, your inner voice that has somehow been intimidated into silence or faulty thinking. It sounds as if the road is hard, so I won’t patronize with words, but please know that I get it. Over the years, I have been lied to about who I am–so much so that I was a complete mess. And it didn’t take much, one wrong thought, one poison opinion, to make me run from Truth. Just like when one lone drop of acid makes t’s way into the soil, the seed is still destroyed.
But God can take that deep wound and make blooms out of it, still. I’m living proof.
Praying for you this moment. <3
Thank You for taking tome to respond! I do appreciate your prayer, also! I’m trying to hang on. I know I would tell another to do that. Just getting harder rather than easier with no ‘break’ in sight… Being so Alone…and Invisible…is not what I’d ever expected… But then, who does… Waiting for Him to not only ‘make blooms out of it, still’…but Blossoms… [ ;-} ]
Jo Anne – this challenges me, breaks my heart and gives me hope. But I will probably still be more silent and invisble to those I wish could see and hear me. But is it me or them or something else that makes it hard to hear and harder to be heard?