Ask the Counselor: Is It Possible for Memories of Abuse to be Forgotten and then Remembered?


hope-1024x664Reader Question:

I’m hoping you can help me. I have no memory of anything happening, but I believe it’s possible I was sexually abused as a child. Perhaps at a friend’s house. When I consider the puzzle pieces, it all points to that possibility.

If I start from the place of accepting that I might have been abused, where can I go from there? How can I start to put my life in order? What are some practical tips and techniques for moving on, and for healing?


Counselor Answer:

If you sense you were sexually abused you should see a trained therapist to seek help.

You may have disconnected from the memories and repressed them to protect yourself. You could benefit from Theophostic Prayer or a therapy called EMDR which can be done by a counselor trained in that modality. In An Unspoken Voice is also a good resource for trauma and healing from sexual abuse.  

To heal you have to be willing to go to those places of emotional pain, but you have to first learn to ground yourself so that the memories and pain won’t overtake you. That’s where a counselor can help. She can teach you breathing and grounding techniques while providing a safe place to tell your story.

You have experienced lots of loss and you have to grieve it. You have to tell the story–a story that is most likely filled with grief and suffering, and not easy to tell. But when we don’t tell the stories that aren’t easy to tell, we bottle them up, pushing them down and closing up shop. And our pain sits, sometimes for decades. We don’t pull it out or look at it, and so we miss the opportunity to really understand the event or series of events that were responsible for breaking our hearts.

Yet we must tell the story to walk the healing path. I pray peace and comfort as you begin your journey.


EDITOR’S NOTE: Rita Schulte’s book, Shattered, addresses how to handle the loss and grief of shattered dreams . You can read the first chapter here. It will release on September 1st, but can be preordered now.

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