Our hearts should be broken by the things that break the heart of God. God’s word tells us so. But I must admit the sight of a prostitute walking the streets of my hometown would not have broken my heart a few years ago. “It’s their choice,” I decided, without a second thought.
However God changed my heart as some of these women have become not just names, but real people in my life.
One of our clients at the Crisis Pregnancy Center I work at is twenty-two years old and twenty weeks pregnant with what we believe is a baby girl. This young woman (I will call her Mandy) has been out on the streets for about four years. She is a crack-addict who makes money to support her addiction by prostitution.
At four years old, Mandy was taken from her biological parents who were also addicts and was adopted by a family. About four years ago, Mandy ran away and now lives with a man who provided her with shelter, but little else. The bits and pieces we have heard about the early years of her childhood are horrific. Early on, her self-esteem was demolished.
Last week our Director brought Mandy into the center after she had spent the morning taking her to one of the Social Services appointments; the director treated Mandy to a pedicure. Mandy came in and smiled as she showed us her “sparkly” purple toes. It was the first time she ever had a pedicure; she felt loved and pampered for just that little bit of time.
After that, I took her into the boutique and helped her to pick out a few maternity tops. My heart was truly filled with love for her as she stood looked at her reflection.
The reality of her situation is that even if she could give up her addiction and her lifestyle, chances are she will not be able to keep this child growing in her womb. She is scarred emotionally by her past and is stuck in the early years of her childhood. It would not be safe for her or the baby. Mandy understands this and as much as my heart knows it as well I understand how painful it will be…one more loss in a string of so many.
Loving this young woman who the world may consider unlovable is such a reminder to me of how God loves me. I was not worthy. I was unlovable and by His grace alone I did not become one of the girls on the street. I am so thankful that He placed people in my life that loved me, encouraged me, and ministered to me in so many ways.
I once read that “our greatest ministry will come from our deepest pain.” I am so blessed God has indeed used the pain from my own tumultuous childhood in a good way.
None of us can change Mandy’s circumstances, but we can pray for God’s protection for her and for this child who is growing by God’s grace. Psalm 139: 13-16 tells us: “For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. My framework was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully sought the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them.”
This child is not an accident and neither is her mother. Join me in praying for a miracle?
Cindie Thomas, is a wife, mother of three young adults and Gram to five amazing grandchildren. She is a Life Coach, Writer, and Speaker who longs to minister to women who are struggling and want to find contentment in their lives. http://musingsfromthegram.typepad.com/a_circle_of_three/